Sessions & Costello in “Who’s on Russia?”

Jeff Sessions:  Strange as it may seem, we give special counsels nowadays very peculiar names.

Carol Costello:  Funny names?

Jeff Sessions:  Nicknames, nicknames.  Now, on the Washington team we have Who’s on Russia, What’s on Fusion, I Don’t Know is on Uranium–

Carol Costello:  That’s what I want to find out.  I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the Department of Justice team.

Jeff Sessions:  I’m telling you.  Who’s on Russia, What’s on Fusion, I Don’t Know is on Uranium–

Carol Costello:  You know the fellows’ names?

Jeff Sessions:  Yes.

Carol Costello:  Well, then who’s looking into Russian collusion?

Jeff Sessions:  Yes.

Carol Costello:  I mean the fellow’s name on Russia.

Jeff Sessions:  Who.

Carol Costello:  The fellow going after Russia.

Jeff Sessions:  Who.

Carol Costello:  The guy taking care of Russia.

Jeff Sessions:  Hillary is taking care of Russia, but Who is looking after Russia.

Carol Costello:  Well, what are you askin’ me for?

Jeff Sessions:  I’m not asking you–I’m telling you.  Who is on Russia.

Carol Costello:  I’m asking you–who’s on Russia?

Jeff Sessions:  That’s the man’s name.

Carol Costello:  That’s who’s name?

Jeff Sessions:  Yes.


 

Carol Costello:  When they pay off the guy who’s on Russia every month, who gets the money?

Jeff Sessions:  Every dollar of it.  And why not, the man’s entitled to it.  Well, more or less.

Carol Costello:  Who is?

Jeff Sessions:  Yes.

Carol Costello:  So who gets it?

Jeff Sessions:  Why shouldn’t he?  OK – sometimes his friend Rosy comes down and collects it.

Carol Costello:  Who’s Rosy?

Jeff Sessions:  Yes.  Or Rosy’s Who, depending on whose Who.

Carol Costello:  Who’s Who?

Jeff Sessions:  Absolutely.

Carol Costello:  Well, all I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on Russia.

Jeff Sessions:  Oh, no, no.  What is on Fusion.

Carol Costello:  I’m not asking you who’s on Fusion.

Jeff Sessions:  Who’s on Russia!


 

Carol Costello:  Washington has a good FBI?

Jeff Sessions:  Oh, absolutely.

Carol Costello:  The guy on Hillary’s emails?

Jeff Sessions:  Why.

Carol Costello:  I don’t know, I just thought I’d ask.

Jeff Sessions:  Well, I just thought I’d tell you.

Carol Costello:  Then tell me – who’s looking into Hillary’s emails?

Jeff Sessions:  Who’s on Russia.

Carol Costello:  Stay out of foreign affairs!  The email person’s name?

Jeff Sessions:  Why.

Carol Costello:  Because.

Jeff Sessions:  Oh, he’s on Clinton Foundation.

Carol Costello:  Wait a minute.  You got a prosecutor on this team?

Jeff Sessions:  Wouldn’t this be a fine team without a prosecutor?

Carol Costello:  Tell me the prosecutor’s name.

Jeff Sessions:  Tomorrow.


 

Carol Costello:  Now, when the guy leaking the fake news gives me a tip–me being a good investigator–I want to get a statement from the guy on Russia, so I pick up the microphone and shove it in whose face?

Jeff Sessions:  Now, that’s the first thing you’ve said right.

Carol Costello:  I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

Jeff Sessions:  Go on.

Carol Costello:  I take the leak to the Russia guy, whoever makes a statement, and then I run to the Fusion guy.  Who makes a statement and gives it to what.  What takes it to I don’t know.  I don’t know takes it back to tomorrow–a triple play – Times, Post and CNN.

Jeff Sessions:  Yeah, it could be.

Carol Costello:  Another guy takes the tip to the guy on the Clinton Foundation.

Jeff Sessions:  Because.

Carol Costello:  Why? I don’t know. And I don’t care.

Jeff Sessions:  What was that?

Carol Costello:  I said, I DON’T CARE!

Jeff Sessions:  Oh, that’s our ethics expert!


 

Carol Costello:  Why don’t we get back to who’s on Uranium?

Jeff Sessions:  I Don’t Know’s on Uranium.

Carol Costello:  Then who’s on Fusion?

Jeff Sessions:  Who’s on Russia.

Carol Costello:  I’m asking the questions here!

Jeff Sessions:  Did you know that uranium has nothing to do with fusion?

Carol Costello:  Well, that’s the first sensible thing you’ve said all day.  The only thing these scandals have to do with each other is they’re trying to tear down Hillary.

Jeff Sessions:  Fission.  That’s how uranium works.

Carol Costello:  Oh my god!  They said you were a racist!  But you understand!  It’s TOTALLY a fishing expedition.  They started out with Russia and next thing you know, they’re going after Uranium.

Jeff Sessions:  I always wondered how they enrich uranium.

Carol Costello:  Probably in the budget.  I can get that information for you if you’d like.

Jeff Sessions:  Did you know uranium is still useful after it’s been depleted?

Carol Costello:  OH MY GOD!  Do you mean this thing is going to keep going on?  Will they EVER leave that poor woman alone?

Jeff Sessions:  Uranium is amazing stuff.  And we can literally thank the stars for it!

Carol Costello:  Yeah, I have to agree.  Harvey Weinstein.  That idiot blew everything.

 

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8 Comments

    1. Yup. I ask myself every day – WHO is on this stuff, WHY are they not recused, and WHAT are they intending. More and more, I DON’T KNOW if they have any intention of actually prosecuting anybody. Things are looking very “kabuki” today.

      Like

  1. Oh.My.Goodness.
    This must be one of your best, evah. What a joy after re-reading the post on Hate Porn.

    Sadly, it would seem you may be more correct here than you may know. What is it, exactly, that AG Sessions does, other than engage in (imaginary?) convos like this? One wonders.

    Great work again Wolf. Thanks for a great start to a now-promising day.
    Btw, where is DNI Coates? Clapper was, and still is, everywhere. DNI Coates MIA.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! And yes – good point.

      I’ll bet he’s up to some MAGA. That is the way these guys work for Trump. It’s like they’re doing nothing – and then BOOM.

      I can only hope that is the story with Sessions as well! Fingers crossed…..

      Like

  2. Sessions Watching, to me personally, is similar to that nightmare where one is escaping, fleeing from the ‘monster’. For some reason the monster keeps gaining but the fleeing keeps getting stuck in slow-motion. Slower and slower as that southern drawl continues verrrrrry sloooooooooow.

    Like

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